sheenah (sheenah) wrote,

Merry Christmas - I am Alive

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Happy Chananakah, Happy Kwanzaa, Bright Yule and anything else I am missing.

I am alive and so sorry I have not read my f'list or commented.

The boys and I are doing well, but things got a little shaky and I still have not written about it and I need to. I will. We had to define what our relationship is, in a way we would all be happy, and my mind got expanded. But I think theirs did too, especially Toby.

Last night was beautiful. We went to The Plaza, a famous area of Kansas City, and looked at all the gorgeous lights and took a carriage ride all around and boggled the driver, but he had the total class not to say anything. The boys insisted that I be in the middle, but after a while I insisted Toby be in the middle. I am growing and I NEED this to work.

We made beautiful love last night. And I told the boys what their major Christmas present is.

I am off the pill.

Whew. Crying here. This is a big step. They cried and made love to me again. We don't want a paternity test. That is putting the cart before the horse though, heh?

They are asleep, all spooned hot and gorgeous and when I looked at them together I started crying again. As soon as I am done here, I am making biscuits and sausage gravy. Screw calories and carbs!

Mom is coming for dinner, and I hope things won't be tense. She is asking questions and I am trying to be gentle and ease this on her. She can be pretty conservative. I don't know what the consequences could be.

I will trust in God and the Universe that all will be well.

Love to you all!
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